Happiness: The science of Observation

What’s in it for this time?

                   i.            How to observe Happiness?

                 ii.            How to find Happiness?

              iii.            How to alter more things for Happiness?

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“You can make new friends, daily, or choose to do otherwise. But, having some good tea with new faces; doesn’t sound a bad idea”

Why did I write this piece?

Well, I am no sociologist or much of the sociopath, either. But this is what I observed.

Few days back I was called in to an MNC, for a presentation. It was a techno mumbo jumbo on the clean technology and energy analytics.

I am just an amateur to IT and this domain, though trying to bring some experts and entrepreneurs together for a new gag.

In just five minutes, they fucked the presentation.

Technical, financial viability, management team, economical parameters, market trends and what not, been used to kill the idea.

Rumbled up the entire day, my confidence, three months’ work, motivation and dreams, all of them. In just five freaking minutes.

What could I do?

Nothing!

Not a single thing!

Why?

Well, they had the authority, power, attitude and right to reject the presentation. Maybe skills and expertise also. Who knows?

I went to the coffee house, was drinking my regular one.

The manager at the next table marked my mile long face and dared to ask me, if I was not keeping well.

My mind was begging to punch him in the face of that fucker, but somehow I had to post a sane behavior and they serve the best tea in area, so I just gather up the drenched muscles to nod yes. I needed an exhaust now.

He might have observed the thought of getting punched so didn't ask a single thing till I was at counter, clearing the tab.

Escorting me to the doors, he mumbled one tiny sentence, “Sir! Hope to see you with some new friends next time ".

No one was with me.

That fucker went crazy?

(Find the whole story here)

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Ok.

So here is the video.

I seriously recommend to watch it in the mute mode first time.

[Video: Russell Peters]

Did you notice his jokes?

Materials for making them is nothing new.

Observing different languages, different communities, their peculiarities and specifications, behaviors, clashes, daily life troubles, gestures, stress and incidents they face out of it.

He goes to the audience, pick someone and start making jokes from replies. It’s called on set timing. Most of the media magnet uses, the best was of George Bush’s. He ducks two shoes at a media outcry. Gosh! He is too sporty.

Russell’s, is observing our daily life and tilting his vision slightly, to get the humor out of it. Not big thing. Unless your brain is crooked, this trick works for everyone. Tilt your perception and you'll get humor from almost everything, everywhere.

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Here is one more video.

[Video: Shawn Achor]

They said, this is the best video in Jaw dropping and Funny category on TED.

In fact it is.

What he has to say?

Not much of new, than Russell and me.

Yes!

You heard it right.

OH wait. You read it right.

Nothing new than Russell and “me”!

Shawn’s things and research is in positive psychology. He has written books on it. 

They are cool to read. It encircles our ways at workplace, at daily life and at our interactions with this whole planet, to get the hold of positivity.

Centre piece for his work is the Gratitude.

Centre idea is the Expression.

Centre theme is Happiness.

How he’s saying to do this?

The same way I am proposing it.

Observation

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Seriously !

This is the only key.

You need to find Happiness?

Observe

You need to locate Gratitude?

Observe

You need to trace the Fun?

Observe

You need to point out laughter?

Observe

You need to express compassion?

Observe

You need to align life?

Observe

You need to explore depth of joy?

Observe

You need to serve your confidence?

Observe

You need to motivate yourself?

Observe

You need to pump fuel to dreams?

Observe

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Observation is the key.

Why is it so?

Because, we're intelligent !!

EP says that, we are exposed to only those details which needed to make us better at survival.

Survival needs Food, Tactics and Sex.

It doesn’t care if you're happy or sad.

You are hungry or in trouble; that talk to us, says our survival instincts.

How to get rid of it?

What, you want to get rid of survival instincts?

No need for it!

In fact, you must not. This is what keeping you alive.

What to do then?

Learn to observe.

How, but?

There is no science to teach this, fortunately, we don’t need one.

Why? Because, the entire process of brain is focused to observe.

Evolutionary Anthropology found that, brain is the robust computational machine.

[Video: David Eagleman]

This gentleman has decoded it.

We learn by observing the patterns.

Happiness is also a code in the brain. Sensing which brain produces the chemicals to create this feeling.

We need a simple answer dude !

Yes !

This is why I have started this blog.

I want to make simple things understandable.

So here is the crux !

A)  Whenever you’re crushed, doomed, fucked up, in stress, in dilemma, in pain, in rage or in fact in any state; note a thing or two, or make a simple list of three things

B)   Keep this list with you. Stored in your cellphone, in your computer or in any other gadget. If you don’t have any, write it on a piece of paper.

C)   Don’t complex things. Just write only three things. Nothing more. Whenever you want to, or you can, or you are into the set of feelings I told in A.

D)  Do nothing with that list.

E)   Maintain that list. And by maintaining I mean, update it daily. Two times a day is good, three times, is better.

Now here is the catch.

What you should choose in those three things?

You can write anything.

Yes, I am not joking.

Anything.

Write anything. But keep in mind, you have to update your list under these three titles daily, so be wise while choosing them.

I have chosen to observe my mood variations,

1. Um huh !
2. Fucked up !
3. Suck on bitches !

I update it four or sometimes five times a day. I have a excel sheet and a small piece of paper, to keep the track.

Why did I select only mood variation?

Because, I have seen my moods going crazy all the times. And what goes peak to bottom, tens times a day, just like the bumpy road, makes the ride horrible. This bumpy ride was the sucking wheel, drenching all the motives from my day to be happy.

You can decide a simple parameter, or drop a line, I’ll help you decide what to choose, for making this list.

Here is my thing.

I’m always fucked up, if I don’t get enough response to what I’ve bleed. My work, or blog, or food I made, or to research I did. Anything, in fact, to which I have engaged my expectations.

I am always like Um huh, whenever I’m late, tired, feeling alone, not having anything clear to speak or to share or to blog.

I am very rarely on the C. Suck on bitches. I am only there when I have got the best food, best thing to write, got some more money from clients than expected and sometimes when I get some appreciation.

What my brain thinks?

Don’t expect much of what others opine

Don’t be alone. Not for much time.

Don’t eat shit food. Neither write shit nor cook.

That’s all.

Whatever goes around my life, these three patterns are my keys. Whenever I’d want to go from B to A or to C, I use food or write, or sometimes go for a walk; observe people and then write.

Am I able to get happiness with this exercise all the time?

No, all the time it isn’t needed even. I can handle the situation, even when I’m totally upset (like B) for some quite a long duration.

I need to go to happy state only when I feel really drenched and uneasy; body reacts in different manner at times like this. There I use my findings.

So, I use the outcomes to monitor and use the trick as and when needed.

Can I do better?

Yes, of course. I am now focusing to change my grooves on key. From Food, I’m trying to go to walk for all the time.

Magic is in finding these things. Once you know where you are holding in, you can dissolve easily.

One of the clients has created a list for anger issues. His things are,

1.  I'll kill you
2. I'll blast the premise
3. I’ll just going to play it cool

Since, he’s find the intensity, he is working on one more exercise to get new personality developed.

Even his findings are shocking.

He is the person who would kill someone if they’re not paying attention, not if they’re bothering, upsetting, demotivating or even cheating.

He is just concerned about his words and expressions, where he’s on.

If you’re not paying your ears to his speech, he’s going to fuck up with your work, repo, attitude, passion or even with your car. So no wonder he need some attention to his attention issues. And what helps him to shift from A to C or B to C?

You won’t even believe; a pen or a key.

He just presses the objects, till the brain stop reacting on the patterns of A or B and stop releasing the chemicals. Soon a little pattern of pain and object’s outline maybe sends the signal to alter the focus, in his brain.

What’s your happy state?

If you don’t know it yet. Find it.

How?

You know the way now.

Comment or mail me to get some personified advice for making a list.

It’s a freebie so don't worry.

“Find it and celebrate. Life's too short to mourn.”

Love you all!

Click on to read my Life Journal !

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The Four ! (Ep. 02)

Get ready people for another interesting fact about Human body.

In a new research at Futurama University, Minato, Tokyo, Japan; Dr John A. Zoidberg has found, “Humans are the direct descendent of the Octopus”. Explaining his research Dr Zoidberg told, “...this settles the query, from where our mind has got its nature like the suction cups, from Octopus!”

A very shocking but much needed breakthrough it is. And tell you what, I have been regular kind of victim of this nature. Believe me.

Here are some examples of Suction cups of minds,

• If I don’t eat green vegetables, mom would kill me.
• If I don’t play cricket, my dad would kill me.
• If I don’t crack exam, my teacher would kill me.
• If I break the TV, my brother would kill me.
• If I don’t make it to the dinner, my aunt would kill me.
• If I operate the computer, my uncle would kill me.
• If I accidently smile at my neighbour’s car, his dog would kill me.
• If I don’t go the movie, my friends would kill me…etcetera! (and if I’ll write more of these things, you would kill me)
  
  

I am not sure, if I would have been failed to any of the above, how many times I would have met death.

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This is what I have understood as the mind’s suction cups. Even my neighbour’s dog was holding something with the suction cups. No matter how old the mind grew with brain, culture or society since the beginning of the Evolution, I don’t think any of us (even Dogs) was able to locate the depressurizing switch to these suction cups.

Let’s move forward. I have something to explain. 

Something like this,

I have analysed two things about the Suction cups,

A) We hold many (dead or alive) things with them

B) These holdings are mostly unseen to us (even to Dogs) (I’ve seen some of them running after vehicles…not sure whether this government has announced separate licenses for them or what !!)

And the take away point here is that, these findings are true. These holdings manage, our subconscious behaviours all the time. Or let’s say hiding that depressurising switch from us.

And this is mean I say  :(

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How these unseen holdings are smirking at us?

(Don’t know about ‘us’ but I definitely have been being bothered a much with these holdings)

Anyway, I was able to list these conclusive points to the question,

• First, these holdings are unseen, means none of us take a deep think over it. We are having some features (um, let’s not decide whether it is a bad feature or not) that we don’t know how to operate. Cool, aye? (I think, we all should be given a Self-Guide Kit at the time of birth, to know things like this in advance)

• Second, these holdings might (they usually do) have been consuming our utility, capacity and calibre to do something more important (other than watching who is smiling at your owner’s car ! Damn you Dog!!), than giving attentions to these holdings.
   

A simple exercise to find out how attention savvy you are:

• Think how much time, your boyfriend/girlfriend playing a little more cool to the guest in the party, did it take to trash the memory?
   
• Remember, when that idiot crashed your new Porsche with an era old motorbike? For how many days you were thinking to run over his bike?
   

Guess what! They say, it takes almost 30 years for a child trauma, blocking the creativity, to get healed. Who gave us that trauma? (6 out of 10 times, The Schools)

• Third, the more holdings we have in a company, the more we get from the profits and the more from losses. So is the rule for these holdings too. The more we have, the more we put ourselves in the places where we’re simply not needed. And the more we are put in to the things which really can be taken of the shelves, the more amount of Happiness we take to make ourselves comfortable.
   

Happiness is like the cash earnings out of things you do or do not. More numbers of holdings means the smaller piece each holding would get. Like, more the number of children, smaller the piece each will get of Cake, a simple paradox. To balance this paradox, either don’t invite notorious kids who will ask for a large piece of cake, or get a bigger cake.
 

• Fourth, having small piece of cake in the plate will make you smile? Think. Think deeply (and if it does, I am definitely gonna take the large piece). (But sadly) it usually does not make you happy. Meaning that, the more things to hold, the more to do for happiness and it will not be enough ever (it is called the indirect proportionate between two functions in mathematics, if A increases, B will decrease with the same rate. A = k/B, k being a constant).

• Fifth, (now this is a ‘for’ argument) this goes true for the sadness even. So, with the simple rule; more numbers of things you can hold to, less sadness you would get to each piece. This is why perhaps, rather than running over to that idiot’s bike, you ran over your Porsche to some Policemen in the GTA.
   

Understanding these five points the next big question you should ask is,

How do we depressurize these suction cups, then? And is it suitable do that?

Well, this is simple.

Actually, you kind of have a list in mind about these holdings. So, these holdings are unseen but not been there unrecorded. If you find that list, you will have to just check which is having a positive sign and which is not.

Those, which carry a positive sign against them, are the ones helping you to smoothen your growth trajectory, for the environment you are in.

For example, having a holding in fear let’s say, making students to study hard and skip the smiling at neighbour’s car, at the times of examinations, usually supports them to do well.

Or having a holding in the controls, your life partner should act safe with others, usually help to deepen the trust factors in relationships. This shows a depth of Care and Feelings of attachment to each other.

Science has found out that, without these positive emotional holdings, our IQ actually drops down. We can easily be broke psychologically and like a black hole, tend to suck into the singularity, whooping off all the happiness out of every single thing. These situations lead to many of the psychosomatic dieses known to mankind (now you know why you have been taught that, ‘Man is a Social animal’).

This suggests that, it is not suitable to us to remove or drop all types of the holdings. If we do, we might lose all of our stakes (creating the sad black hole).

We will have to use the secret tool we have been gifted with, to keep a balance. It is called “Discernment” (in an offshore meaning, “The Common-sense”). This tool will help us to enlist the holdings into two categories, let’s say white (those we shouldn’t drop) and black (other than white :p).

Once you have a clear and categorized list, you can think the complexity of each holdings, falling in black category.

You never know since how long you’ve been investing into any particular holding. The longer the duration is, the longer it will take to drop. You will have to use your judgements now, how to drop.

Dropping isn’t that much hard to do once we know which one is to be dropped.

Let’s say you want to drop your holdings of overly concern about your Porsche. It is just the matter of understanding that, you would have not been much of the sad, even if you did not have a Porsche at all. Yes, you get it right.

You just have to analyse yourself without that particular holding. Even if you wouldn’t have it, would you’ve been able to manage the life? And believe me, most of the times the answer to this question is YES.

Not because you don’t share esteem or pride or honour in having a Porsche, but you know that the feelings you got for having a Porsche, are not stationary. Your brain already know, how likely is to get it stolen, crashed (of course you would survive to think this) or even get it lost (um, well, once I kinda lost my Bike. Don’t ask me HOW?).

It says this is the 1440th word (Yaay !).

Anyway, so point what I am trying to make is that, we already are recording/registering these holdings. We kind of know the distinction from Black to White and we even know which holdings are temporary and which are not.

Then where and what is the Question smarty pants?

Chill…!!

The only thing we must notice is that: we have to dig these explanations out.

Yup. We need to dig since when we are investing into what all holdings and what will be life if we have not had them at all. If you can do this, you will find a way to handle the things very easily.

For, now you know how to handle life without them. And if you find your life manageable without these holdings, you won’t invest them a dime into it.

There is a saying in Supply Chain Management stream,

If you don’t know what is where,

You can’t say how much is there !

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Let’s put all things together at the end,

• Our mind acts like the Octopus suction cups
• We have certain holdings to these cups
• We invest in these holdings to make ourselves comfortable
• We should figure out the explanations of these holdings
• We have to maintain a suitable amount of holdings to keep a balance (not creating black hole) (maintaining the critical mass)
• Futurama is a Cartoon Series and Dr Zoidberg is a talking lobster in it (believe me)(:p)
• The car = daughter
   

Ahaan ! I knew it about the Futurama.

Hmm !

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We all know what we know at all.

Long live Dr Zoidberg !!